Mother’s Day, I think of my dad driving us to my nannas, stopping on the way for wilted road-side flowers. At the time, this seemed legit. Nice. Traditional. In retrospect, I wonder what my mum was feeling that we weren’t with her on Mother’s Day and why my nanna didn’t throw them back at my Dad and say, “You at least could have gotten me roses! I gave you life!”
This side of Mother’s Day (the mother-side) , it’s the most important day in the calendar to me, aside from my children’s birthdays. And I can tell you this, chrysanthemums don’t cut it. That doesn’t mean I expect the world gifted to me. It means that some cheap, flaky, flower or pyjamas, does not represent thanks for everything I do or represent how the people I love the most, love me.
So this Mothers Day, let me tell you what would:
Words, a card – Actual sentences or pictures from my children, but equally, from their dad telling me they love me.
Time – Give me just a small chunk of time to go for a walk on my own or call a friend. I promise, I’ll be a better person for it.
Peace – When I get in the bathroom that day, don’t knock. Don’t let the kids call my name.
Hugs – Just keep them coming (except when I’m in the bathroom).
Rest – Let me sleep. As. Long. As. I. Damn. Well. Want.
Help – Take something off my to-do list. Wash the dishes, vacuum my car, iron something. Put something away. Any day you can do this would be awesome, but Mother’s Day, at least do it on Mother’s Day.
Cook – For me. Buy the food, prepare the food, cook it and clean up. Best. Present. Ever.
Treat – A treat is something you wouldn’t usually buy, eat or do. So if you are thinking of giving gifts, keep this in mind. A massage, is a great example! Another candle or slippers, is not.
Mother’s Day is loaded with thoughts and unspoken hopes. We just need to know, no matter how many times it’s been expressed, that we are loved, that we are appreciated and that we are doing okay with all that we are. That we are enough.
Also remember, that handpicked flowers can be just as beautiful as bought ones, and always more special than anything you can buy on the side of the road.
By Deborah O’Ferry