Developing Emotional Intelligence in Childhood

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is just as important as academic achievement when it comes to a child’s long-term success. Unlike IQ, which measures cognitive ability, EQ is about understanding emotions. Studies have shown that children with strong emotional intelligence tend to build healthier relationships, perform better in school, and cope with stress more effectively. So, how can parents nurture emotional intelligence in their children?

Learn more about our approach to nurturing children’s social and emotional skills at The Green Elephant Rosebery.

What Is Emotional Intelligence in Children?

Emotional intelligence is made up of five key components.

1. Self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand one’s emotions. A self-aware child can identify when they are feeling sad, frustrated, or excited and understand how those feelings affect their actions.

2. Self-regulation refers to managing emotions in a healthy way. A child with strong self-regulation can calm themselves down after getting upset, resist impulsive behaviour, and express their emotions in constructive ways.

3. Motivation is about using emotions to drive persistence and goal-setting. Children with high motivation are more likely to push through challenges and stay engaged in learning.

4. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. An empathetic child notices when a friend is upset and offers comfort or support.

5. Social skills allow children to navigate friendships, resolve conflicts, and communicate effectively. Strong social skills help children build positive relationships and work well with others.

Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important for Kids?

A child’s ability to understand and manage emotions influences nearly every aspect of their life. Kids with strong EQ communicate better, resolve conflicts more effectively, and experience greater emotional wellbeing. Research has shown that individuals who develop greater emotional intelligence in childhood are also more likely to succeed academically, as they can handle frustration, focus on tasks, and collaborate with peers. Thus, teaching these skills in childhood gives kids an advantage in both their personal and professional lives.

Signs of Strong vs. Weak Emotional Intelligence in Children

A child with high emotional intelligence expresses emotions clearly and appropriately. They can calm down after getting upset, show empathy toward others, and handle conflicts with maturity. They also tend to form strong friendships and display patience in challenging situations.

On the other hand, a child with low EQ may struggle to identify or articulate their emotions. They might react impulsively when frustrated, have difficulty understanding others’ feelings, or frequently experience emotional outbursts. 

Parents should observe their child’s behaviour and identify areas where they may need help, such as learning to express emotions constructively or practicing empathy in social situations.

How to Develop Emotional Intelligence in Your Child

The development of emotional intelligence starts with everyday interactions. Small moments—conversations, challenges, and play—shape their emotional growth. Here are some ideas of how to can teach emotional intelligence to your children:

1. Encourage Open Communication

Children need a safe and supportive environment to express their emotions. Encouraging open dialogue helps them feel heard and understood. Parents can practice active listening by giving their full attention and responding thoughtfully. Asking open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?” encourages children to articulate their emotions rather than bottling them up.

Normalising discussions about emotions also helps. When parents talk about their own feelings in a healthy way, children learn that emotions are natural and manageable.

2. Model Emotional Awareness

Children learn by observing the adults around them. When parents express their own emotions calmly and constructively, children are more likely to do the same. If a parent feels frustrated, for example, they can say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths before we continue this conversation.” This teaches children that emotions can be acknowledged and managed rather than suppressed or acted upon impulsively.

3. Help Your Child Name Their Emotions

Recognising and labelling emotions is an important step in developing self-awareness. Young children may struggle to express how they feel simply because they lack the vocabulary to do so. Parents can introduce emotion charts, books about feelings, or storytelling techniques to help children identify and name their emotions.

For example, if a child is throwing a tantrum, instead of saying, “Calm down,” a parent might say, “I can see you’re feeling really frustrated right now. Let’s talk about why.” Giving children’s emotions a name makes them feel less overwhelming and helps children understand what they are experiencing.

4. Teach Empathy Through Everyday Activities

Empathy is a skill that can be developed through practice. Role-playing different scenarios can help children understand how others feel. Parents might ask, “How would you feel if your friend lost their favourite toy?” or “What do you think your teacher felt when you thanked them today?” Encouraging these conversations helps children develop perspective-taking skills.

Engaging in acts of kindness also strengthens empathy. Volunteering, writing thank-you notes, or simply encouraging children to check in on a friend who seems sad all help build compassion and emotional awareness.

5. Promote Problem-Solving Skills

Teaching children to manage challenges on their own builds confidence and emotional intelligence. When children face a problem, parents can guide them through a simple problem-solving process:

• Identify the issue

• Think of possible solutions

• Consider the consequences of each solution

• Choose and try the best option

For example, if two siblings are arguing over a toy, instead of stepping in immediately, parents can encourage them to suggest ways to share or take turns. Over time, children become better at managing conflicts independently.

Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them

Some children naturally struggle with emotional intelligence in childhood, but there are ways parents can help. If a child bottles up their emotions, they may need reassurance that their feelings are valid. Creating a judgment-free space and using phrases like, “It’s okay to feel sad. Do you want to talk about it?” can encourage them to open up.

If a child has frequent emotional outbursts, they may need help with self-regulation. Teaching deep breathing exercises, using a calm-down corner, or practicing mindfulness can help them manage strong emotions.

If a child struggles with empathy, they might benefit from more exposure to different perspectives. Reading books with diverse characters, watching movies that explore emotions, or simply encouraging conversations about others’ feelings can be helpful.

The Lifelong Impact of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a lifelong skill that shapes how children grow into adults. The good news is that emotional intelligence isn’t fixed; it can be nurtured and strengthened through everyday interactions. By creating a supportive environment, modelling emotional awareness, and encouraging open conversations, parents can give their children the tools to navigate life with confidence and resilience.

By prioritising emotional development in early childhood​, parents are investing in their child’s future wellbeing and happiness. Why not start today? Book a tour of one of The Green Elephant’s early learning centres, and experience a learning space designed to help children build EQ from an early age.