Separation Anxiety at Childcare

Whether your child is just starting at childcare or has an established routine, childhood separation anxiety can arise at any time for a variety of reasons. As a parent or caregiver, witnessing separation anxiety in your baby can be emotionally taxing. It’s important to remember it’s completely natural for your child to experience these emotions as part of their development. 

By establishing positive routines, and providing continuity with your child’s educators, the Green Elephant team has a range of solutions to help establish a sense of familiarity and reinforce feelings of safety, warmth, and comfort for your child. Our experienced educators will help you navigate these moments of separation anxiety. Together we can pave the way to happier, calmer times, and it won’t be too long before these moments of upset are replaced by excitement and enthusiasm. 

When Do Children Start Getting Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety in babies tends to happen around the age of 6-12 months but children can experience it earlier or later right into toddler and preschool ages. There are a range of circumstances that play a role in why a child may experience separation anxiety at childcare. These may include:

• Family relationships

• Whether a child has had any other carers

• Illness

• Changes in routine or environment

• Overtiredness

Understandably, if your baby has never been in a childcare setting before, there may be periods of separation anxiety while they become familiar with different faces and their new environment. With all the new sounds, smells, nap schedules, levels of noise, and sensory stimulation your baby may need extra comfort and support while they transition to their new daycare family.

For older children experiencing separation anxiety, there could be a range of factors at play. With developing emotions, even the most settled of toddlers can have moments or periods where they become upset during drop-offs and cry for Mum or Dad.  

What Does Separation Anxiety Look Like?

Typically childhood separation anxiety presents as clinginess and crying, and often is accompanied by a refusal to want to attend childcare or leave the company of a caregiver. 

Separation Anxiety in Babies

Separation anxiety for babies may be expressed through crying, clinginess, and distress when a parent or caregiver leaves. This usually starts around 6-9 months when they begin to understand object permanence. Separation anxiety for a baby is a normal developmental phase.

Separation Anxiety in Toddlers

Separation anxiety for toddlers might be refusing to be away from their parents or caregivers. This can present in the form of tantrums, or being unusually clingy. It’s often triggered by changes like unfamiliar circumstances or even illness.

Separation Anxiety in Children

Older children with separation anxiety may express fear or worry when away from their parents, avoid activities that require separation, or they may even experience physical symptoms like headaches or stomach upset. Stressful events, big changes, or incidental situations such as a disagreement with a friend can also trigger separation anxiety. 

How to Manage Separation Anxiety in Children

When childhood separation anxiety strikes, it can make even the most steely-nerved parent or caregiver feel overwhelmed. Separation anxiety in children should always be acknowledged. Make sure there is a plan in place to help lessen the distress of a child experiencing these emotions.

Have an Orientation

Take advantage of orientation days before your child begins their regular daycare schedule. Ensure you bring them to the centre on a few occasions before they begin attending their regular booked days. This can develop familiarity and help your baby feel more settled in their new environment.

Be Empathetic Towards Them

Separation anxiety can strike at the worst possible times. You might be running late for work or an important appointment and this may compound the stress of the situation. Even if it has become a repetitive behavior, dismissing or ignoring separation anxiety is rarely the answer. Your child will get through these periods of separation anxiety; it just might take some time. Show empathy and give strong, clear reassurance to your child in these times. 

Commit to Saying Goodbye

Although it may be tempting to use distraction as a way of managing separation anxiety, saying a proper goodbye is important to help your baby understand what is happening. At this time some babies are learning about object permanence and will eventually begin to understand that they will be collected at the end of the day. Saying goodbye properly and reiterating that you or another caregiver will pick them up at the end of the day will help establish the routine and a sense of ease with their day at daycare.

Reducing Anxiety in Babies

Creating a drop-off routine is key to helping reduce separation anxiety in babies. You should expect that for the first weeks of daycare, separation anxiety might be experienced every day. Commonly, the first few days of drop-offs may be relatively smooth until your baby works out that the drop-off is closely followed by you leaving. 

Establish a drop-off routine, ensuring that you can leave your baby with a familiar face for a cuddle while they settle in for the day. There may be tears and clinginess to begin with but gradually your baby will begin to relax into their new environment. Ensuring your baby has familiar items from home, like a sleeping bag or favourite comforter may also help ease distress.

Reducing Anxiety in Toddlers

For toddlers, create excitement around daycare. Perhaps find out who some of their favourite buddies are and use the activities and people they like to enthuse them about their day ahead. Reassure your toddler that you’ll be back to pick them up at a particular time. Rather than an actual time perhaps use ‘after afternoon tea’ or ‘just after nap time’. This will help establish a routine and develop a sense of comfort in knowing when you will be returning.

Reducing Anxiety in Young Children

Children will sometimes experience short periods of separation anxiety at drop-off and may cry. Most children recover fairly quickly and happily get into their day with friends, activities, and food. Use short, clear explanations at drop-off and reassure your child you or another caregiver will pick them up at the usual time. You may even encourage them by offering something to look forward to that evening, such as a favourite meal.

Strategies for Dropping Off Babies and Young Learners

Ensure the drop-off process stays short and positive –

•  Having long, drawn-out goodbyes can often cause more distress for your child.

Wherever possible, make sure you can drop off in an unhurried way –

• It’s a good idea to put some time aside to settle your child in for their day.  This could be a few minutes, sitting them down with a book, or in their group activity at the beginning of the day.

Create a positive dialogue about going to childcare

• – Before you arrive at the centre, be enthusiastic with your child about their day ahead and try making it an event to look forward to.

Stay relaxed

• – It’s easy to become anxious about drop-off time yourself, particularly if separation anxiety has become a daily event. Keeping yourself as calm and relaxed as possible will help your child with their transitions.

Have a Discussion with an Educator

Sometimes staying relaxed is easier said than done, so if you’d like some support the Green Elephant educators are always on hand to offer advice and help you manage these unsettling times. Regular communication with educators can help ensure your child thrives at daycare and enjoys all the fun the centre has to offer.

The Green Elephant team has been trained to support you through childhood separation anxiety, offering cuddles, comfort, and activities that will help divert your child’s attention from your leaving onto the enjoyment of their day.